Not having a fantastic time at college? Many share your feelings.
Robert Medhurst passed the majority of his freshers' week browsing through digital networks, reading posts about fellow students partying.
"I was just in bed," Robert recalls, characterizing that period as the most isolated period of his life.
Robert's flatmates seldom socialized, and his program didn't seem especially friendly.
Even though he made efforts by going to taster sessions for multiple organizations, he was unable to locate like-minded individuals.
"I gradually lost my self-assurance," he says. "It seemed that people didn't want to become my friends, or they didn't like me."
Online Network Judgments
At first, Robert didn't plan of going to university and had a job offer for following college.
But then he observed his peers living it up as college students online.
"When you've got to get up for your job during the week at 9:00 and you notice others went out on midweek, you do start thinking others have it better," Robert mentions.
Higher Education Assumptions
TV shows and online platforms can romanticize the concept of student life.
Many individuals begin university with high expectations for what they imagine could be the most wonderful time of their lives.
Various learners begin their studies with "idealistic views," explains a support services coordinator.
Survey Findings
- Through surveys of first-year attendees early on, the main anxiety was belonging and feeling included
- In another survey through polling organizations, nearly one-fifth of attendees said they were without companions at university
- 37% said they felt anxious regularly about building relationships
Personal Experiences
Another student's online videos was populated with clips of peers socializing while sharing accommodation in student houses.
However when Alisha moved from London to Sheffield to learn reporting, she found initial days "intense" because of how much alcohol it involved.
Alisha doesn't drink and had not experienced nightlife before.
"I utilized much of orientation within my living space," she says. "I simply experienced slightly disconnected."
Psychological Aspects
In a 2025 survey of more than 10,000 undergraduate students, a significant portion mentioned they had considered dropping out.
The most common reason was emotional state, accompanied by monetary worries.
"Concern over these various aspects is massively common, and normal," explains a mental health professional.
Finding Solutions
With time, Robert, Alisha and Christina gradually adjusted and built connections.
She built connections via her studies and via social media, while another student became more content once she was able to share accommodation with peers.
Practical Advice
In his case, currently in his mid-twenties and in his last year, it was participating in theater activities and working occasionally that helped him make friends.
Robert's advice to first-year students experiencing connection challenges is to simply leave your accommodation and participate in group trial sessions.
"After a few weeks of consistently showing up, people recognise your face," he explains, "you recognise theirs, and relationships start developing."
