'People keep ribbing me' about the series being over before I get there.
Beautiful weather, classic snacks and legendary venues - what else would an England cricket fan possibly want?
Ideally, they'd want an Ashes series in Australia where they still have a chance to win back the Ashes following the initial matches.
This is not the case during this tour, after a comprehensive triumph in Adelaide left the home side 3-0 up for the fourth consecutive series on their own soil.
The Barmy Army, the vocal contingent, have a large group traveling for the concluding fixtures in Sydney and Melbourne.
Furthermore, other tour groups who will spend the Christmas period in Australia, as well as loved ones heading for a once-in-a-lifetime trip.
The Ryding Siblings
The Ryding siblings are a prime example.
Alex, Sam, Rory and Katie had their flights and tickets secured for the Melbourne and Sydney matches "a full year in advance", anticipating a long-awaited triumph.
From afar, they've seen Australia outplay the visitors in just under two weeks from their family home in the north of England.
"All my colleagues has been teasing me that the series is done for the last two weeks," stated Sam Ryding.
"Our expectation had been that we would have something to play for by the time we arrived."
Lowered Expectations
Hope was abundant about England's chances of securing a first win in 15 years for a series win in Australia prior to the first ball.
However, the situation is now looking at the possibility of extending their winless run in the country to 19 matches when the Boxing Day Test begins in Melbourne this week.
The tourists - and their fans - will be desperate to avoid a clean sweep.
It was mentioned that the "entertainment" of head coach the positive style of play in recent years had "reinvigorated" the longest format for English supporters.
Yet the fans said they had realistic outlooks for the remaining matches - and all they are hoping for from the players is "a show of spirit".
"Commentators consistently alludes to it, but it all comes down to psychological strength. 'This style has been elevated to a term now that is just, like, nonsense cricket," added Rory.
"Over the course of five days, you should hunker down. Chasing balls 'outside the line has not been part of the coaching manuals, and that is largely because of the batting lineup."
The Remaining Matches
Asked whether he believed England will win a match in this Ashes series, one fan responded: "It appears the Australians are superior right now."
"It will require more than one player that delivers for the team and produces a match-winning display."
Even with the series lost, the fans are looking forward to the trip.
"We are going to have a fantastic experience anyway," said Katie. "We must adopt that mindset."
"Obviously it is unfortunate we can't contest the series, but we have spent so much money already."
"We will make the most of having Christmas and New Year in Australia. It is also a new experience for us away from home at this time of year."
A teacher, Katie is focused on enjoying the 21,000-mile round-trip as part of her time off.
"If all else fails, I can play golf to turn to," Katie concluded.
